i cant really remember when was the last time i had a tight sleep... i cant forget this dream of romance, well, not wet dream i had the day before... opening my eyes & to realise everything was nothing but another mistake of my life...
January, 2001, i finally ORD after being " tortured " in 1SIR... at that point of time, i just wanna make more money to make ends meet coz my beloved mum had a bad stroke... immediately, straight after army, i turned illegally ; i was a loanshark, so-called " ah-long's ", runner... work arent simple but i managed to make my first 10k in my early twenties ; since then my life changed... i begun thinking about working smart instead of working hard, constantly reminding myself, " dun slog like a bull, use yr brains & money comes in easy, dammit..." of course, down the roads, many things happened, trivals, majors, i cant remember it all... but no matter how bad things become, she was always by my side, supporting & encouraging... i promised her i will marry her when i earned my 1st 50k... but nothing goes so perfectly well...
blinded by temptations again & again... finally things happened, we end our 7years+ relationship at her workplace's carpark ; this was a sence i would never forget all my life, especially the deep lost feeling inside me ; i know i would never have this feeling ever again ; its all over...
i was drowned in alcoholic since then, i never stop drinking & drinking... total spending was about 28k if i didnt remember wrongly... & i finally woke up when i was left with only 1k in my pocket... thinking back, its was like yesterday when things happened... the deep remorseful feeling is still here with me, uneraseable, unforgettable...
to be continued...
-09.03.07
No comments:
Post a Comment