Yes, I'm back

still adapting...

-09.07.06

every 8TH MARCH

Same day... Different year...
2003... was creating a sence at MFSS, wanted by the police... was hiding for about a year before i was caught... its not something im proud of.. but since i remember this date.. i wanna thank Keith, for allowing me to take refugee over at his house for a month+, despite the nagging from his monstress mum... THANKS alots... =)
2004... car accident... was drunk driving, & hit myself onto the curb at Mount Pleasant Road... poor Gf & Keith had brusies & sprains all over... im really SORRY about that...
2005... LOL... i cannot remember wat happen on this year... i guess nothing happened...
2006... Vanessa's BIRD DAY... was a raving nite once again at momo... everything was rite... except something stunning happened again... hahaha.. there was a clown at the party.. & guess wat, it was me again... dun mention it ba... to the person involved ; dun treat me like an idiot... i feel i was being make use again... hohoho.. stupid zenn...
2007... not here yet...expected a sadder thing to happen... hmmm, SOMEONE make it true pls...
2008... FROM THIS YEAR, ALL 8TH MARCH SHALL BE A HAPPY DAY!!!

-09.03.06

Arghhh

say im lonely but im not...

say im happy but im not...

say im bothered but im not...

say i believed but i dun... NOT AT ALL!!!~~~
" I LOST THE THING IM NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE... I THINK ITS FATED ; ITS ALL OVER... THANKS FOR THE HINT, GOD... " " LEAF CLOVER KEYCHAIN LOST FOREVER... "

-26.02.06

ALONE

23/02/06, alex's POP day...
made myself wif keith to his camp at changi, as usual was late again ; i lost my way... the whole thing was fun & i'm glad i din miss his performance... at that point of time.. i really feel he had grown up... he is no longer the little alex i once used to beat up n scream at anymore...
outta sudden, i feel lonely... i juz feel that i haf no one to share my joys wif... i took out my fone n search through all my fone list... & surprisingly, there is really not a single person i can call to share my happiness... i felt pathetic for awhile, i duno who & how to talk to anyone about my feels... i went off alone in the corner to take a deep breathe, i wanna stop wat im thinking at the moment of time...
for some reason, i feel that i haf so many things to tell ; so many things to release... so my mind will be at ease... i wanted so much to talk to her... so many things to tell... but i refrained myself again... i felt i needed a shoulder to lean on ; i hugged keith for 2secs... yes, its alittle gay, i juz cant control... i thought my tears will start rolling down again... i really breathe hard that time ; i dun wan pple around me to laugh at mi ; i dun wan them to worry about me... somehow or rather, i felt im useless, i felt im so ALONE in this world... can someone hear mi out?? i will be grateful... thank...

-20.02.06

Exact

There's a special place in my heart that only you can touch -a place where I can go and feel you near. Throughout the day I think of you. I see your smile, hear your voice and in my thoughts you lovingly appear. The way we love each other makes it hard to be apart so when I can't hold you in my arms, I hold you in my heart...


Love U Always,


-15.02.06

HVD

crazy for awhile...
Happy Valentine's Day to all...
Specially to : cc & pp, gg & amelia, kk & cancan,
heng & gf(duno wat name), boon & clarissa,
tintin & nikki, sherwin & stephanie, willy & seren,
liang-gou & gf(duno wat name), alex & fionfion,
jason & gracey mooOo, troy & gf(duno wat name)
carol & whywhy tell me why
jay & gf(d-w-n again), max & justina,
ger & ah gu, ding dong Bell & kas
ann & chris, marvz & vallena
AND TO ALL THE LONELY PEEPS OUT THERE... GET A VALENTINE ON THIS SPECIAL DAY... CHEERIOS~~ Happy birthdae to u, TROY...

-12.02.06

wei. wei...

i know u are not feelin good, bro... same as i feel... i din grumble ; i din complain... i juz want people around me to be happy... are u happy?? stay the way as u are ... u'll be fine ; u'll be like me... nitez... i'm drunk liao... thx for staying around wif mi, Goodnitez...
stay away from mi... thank alot... yam sayyyyy...

-08.02.06

Drunk

where u when i needed u most??
Ah Gal talk to mi... my frenz tot im fine : i tot im fine too... but i noe im not fine at all... nevertheless, i wish u forever bliss & happiness...
i'll get well again...
thx Gary for being wif me all this while.. to share wat i duno how to relate to anyone else... thank u so much... treasure wat u haf... Forever happiness for u n Amelia...
" gu dan de ye li wo bu gu dan... ai guo jiu mei you yi han..."
nitez peeps... thx for the others who tried to be around... thank so much...


-07.02.06

Feels

well, well.. its not an good year for me... nothin went rite... woOooOo, nice surprise i've got on the 2nd dae of lunar Chinese New Year... astonishing surprising... anyway, its all over... lied all u want, bitch, haha... juz dun fucking treat mi like an idiotic fool... same phrase goes... " if FUN is all u're after ; pls FUCK off coz im not FUNNY ; im not a clown, wakakaka..."
hmmm, its time to stand up again... i see wat i dun see... & i realised wat i never used to noe... kinda sad ; but i noe its a " release " for mi ; i've got my freedom back ; i dun haf to get sleepless nites & keeps all my worries alone anymore... thanks people out there for being wif mi when i needed someone to tok to... dun worry frenz out there, im fucking fine, im really fuckin fine...

-31.01.06

CNY

was a special CNY... ah heng, no gf for like a decade since childhood finally found himself a companionship, " hurray "... & seeing sherwin getting on wif his new relationship; really happy for him... gary wif amelia, boon wif clarissa too, even my cousin, ah liang, also bring his gf ; surprising... its really nice to see all my kampong frenz wif their gfs... time really flies... its 2006...
wat really spice up the mood is my er gu's birthday i think... all was gathered around, birthday song sung so loud & there were like lots of photos taking sessions throughout... real joys & happiness... at tat point of time, i start to look around ; where is mine?? " Where's your gf?? Where's your gf?? " everyone keep asking... well, i dun even know whether i've a gf ; i wasnt even invited to anything... i feel so left out ; unfairly treated... everyone's gfs was around, but where are u?? anyway, its a special year for me... its gonna be remembered...

-29.01.06

Disappointment

its 23/01/06, special day... i guess i missed another important opportunity to cheer her up & make things better again... was wat i done appreciated?? & was wat i didn't do always remembered?? i cant think too well now... disappointed... i think only alcohol, lots of alcohol can make me sleep and stop thinking so much... everything keeps coming & coming... seriously, im alittle tired mentally ; physically exhausted... can someone help me out??
-to be continued

-23.01.06

Trip To JB

Its was something different from a usual clubbing nite... i made my trip to JB on my bike for the 2nd time... but this time was wif her... & my kampong mates... we went in straight after midnite, a real cooling nite... * wooosh... *
Soon upon reaching.. we settled down for a hearty meal, costing abt 95Rm in a small coffeeshop.. i think we ordered almost all the different variety at the coffeeshop & guess wat, we finished all of it... <<< all big eaters... straight after supper, everyone was laughing their heart out... hmmm, i din noe Jason can tell jokes so well, buay tahan him... *Cheerio*
" was hoping everydae was like todae... "

-01.05.06

Once Again- Lost

i know things are real different... i cant think & do things the ways i wanted myself to... i duno why... i cant understand wat im trying to do... i dun mean how things haf become... im trying to change... why just i cant??
shall i move on... shall i quit?? lost my direction totally...
wats rite? wats wrong? can someone tell me? can someone be my guide?
will u hold my hand to the end? or will things end the way we dun want it to be?
im " controlled... " by something... by something unknown, which i cant see with my visible eyes... strongly i can sense it all around me... i need to catch some breath ; i cant reach it... i wanna let it go ; but i cant... why? why? wats the element?? where is it?? can u stop torturing me?? pls let me go...
" I Cant Take It Anymore... "

-01.03.06

Lost

7.11am, 1-1-2006, 1st day of a new year...
on this special morning... i feel lost for awhile... i feel i needed someone who understand me to talk to...
i and her chatted for like a couple of hours... quiet atmosphere, in a half-drunken mode, we tok abt everythin tat goes wrong in our relationship... thinking back, i was juz like an ordinary guy, who is in search of the " lost love... " was totally devastated & disappointed in myself... i duno how im gonna face her again... i din realised things got into such a bad situation.. my care & concern ; my possession causes her depressions... i knew things arent gonna be the same anymore... & i guess its really time for me to let go slowly... truthfully, i envy " true love " ; i envy all those in love... however things are gonna turn out to be... im not sad, in fact im proud of myself... i've done my part ; i've tried my best ; im proud of myself... i haf given my 100%...
" 2 days, 2 phrases, im totally shattered... " Happy New Year!!

-31.12.05